Major
Hoople
Here
is a question for all you fans of college football. Who was the most
fearless College Football picker from the past? The name of this
person was Major Hoople, his selections were bravely jotted down each
week in a syndicated newspaper column written by Tom Peoples.
The
Major can be best described as being no genius, but he does have an
opinion and wants it to be heard each week! Actually, his full name
is Major Amos B. Hoople, considered to be the King of the Grumps
for outlandish predictions. It must be with all the retro
television shows like Murphy Brown, Will and Grace, Magnum PI and the
Connors making comebacks the past few years, the Major was also worth a shot at redemption.
The
'Major' first appeared as a cartoon character in a comic strip called
Our Boarding House where it ran in hundreds of newspapers
across the nation, from 1921 until 1984. It was so well received by the
public that a weekly radio show ran for six seasons in the 1940s on
NBC.
The
syndicated college football prediction column, appears to have
started much later in 1968. The current Major Hoople writer remembers
the column from his youth, in the 1970s and 1980s. It was always a
must read (before the Internet), or more like a fun ritual from his daily
local newspaper, to preview that week's slate of
games. The people, actually back then read newspapers where ink got on your hands from turning the pages!
The
column's individual game score predictions were mostly not that
memorable. However, the wise guy type of comments from the know it
all of College Football, the 'Major' were funny and sometimes
educational. Many times in the article, the traditions of the sport
were pointed out to the reader as well the players of interest.
Please remember, it was a time way before the creation of the Internet, where your imagination was a part of the game watching experience.
We
want you to enjoy the column each week, like we did, as you try to
best the Major. But, before you read what the Head Grump has to say
about your team, please get acquainted with the language used by
Major Hoople listed below. It acts as a key or a starting template
for Amos's 'Majorisms' to help you fully understand his use of the
English language. One last fact about the Major, his vocabulary can
sound like it came from the 1940s through to the 1980s, so cut him
some slack, dude.
“What
are the Majorisms”
He
can introduce himself in a number of different ways each week,
sometimes old school like from the 1920s or in today's language.
Either way, he sounds like he's your old uncle at the Thanksgiving
dinner table, talking about, who knows what, at times.
The
Major's description of himself as a College Football Expert, also has
other exaggerations or boosts to his ego where he has given himself
these other titles :
The
Fearless Forecaster, Amazin Pigskin Profit Maker, Premier Predictor,
The Wizard of Odds, the Gridiron Wizard and the Original man in
motion.
His
actual name is Major Amos B. Hoople.
.
The
Major's Old School Phrases and Sayings with the Meanings
Egad
(s)- Oh my god (OMG)!
Contested
Fray means a rip snorting time to watch both teams and he wants
you
to be ready to strap it on.
Twill
be some skirmish, the same as saying, “What a game!”
Har-rumph-
The Major can be a grumpy guy at times as he chirps at you like a
typical gruffy old guy with his version of smack talk.
Play’em,
naturally refers to-play it dude or go home!
Heh-heh-
LOL..enough said, no further explanation needed...drop mic, walk off
stage.
Moon
over Miami Hurricanes or any nickname that applies to a team. Another
example would be can't take the cat out of the Northwestern squad.
The team's mascot is a wildcat.
Occasional
guest commentators from around the nation sometimes make
reports like Okey Bayou-our Louisiana Correspondent His son is now
Okey Bayou the second.
By
Jove, some affair, translates to mean-What a game!
Kaff-kaff.
A very easy description that means you choked by missing the winning
FG at homecoming with two seconds left on the game clock!
Um-Kumph
-Wow!
The
Hoople Hunch-a gut decision, a five minute multiple coin toss
session where the winner is predicted.
Hoople
goodies means Information you should know, but the Major assumes
you
don’t!
Autumnal
Landscape.
What you notice during the first quarter of your favorite team being
down by three touchdowns in the middle of the first quarter or how
UMASS fans feel most Saturdays during the season!
Favored
elevens are the best players on the field for that team.
Hold
on to your hats kiddies!That sentence can get you arrested in most
states today, however it means- “Let's get ready to rumble!”
The
Hoople Five Star Special or HFSS, means one of the best picks for
that week.
Major
upset or the Major's Upset Special-MUS.
Crowd
pleasers are
game
breakers that have no prison records (lawyereze- “To the best of
our knowledge, your honor!”), Urumpphhhs!
Diaper
Dandies are players that stayed in school until their senior
year or last year of eligibility.
Hoople
Heisman Candidate, “Egad!... That's an easy one to remember, I
still write it down on my hand when my writer compiles my picks. We
never can be too sure of ourselves.”
Interstate
Rivalry What two teams from the same state are going to attempt
by whomping on on each other to win because they don’t like one
another.
Enough
of the chit-chat. The Major hears the Ghosts of Rockne, Stagg,
Hayes and Bryant tell him, “Knock the #@*&? off and write the
column!...You lug head!” Or maybe the Walker talking at two in the
morning on Sunday after the last Pac10 game on the West Coast goes
final.
The
Hoople System,
please review again the Hoople Hunch, except its one flip and it’s
where I land. Very important to toss me with my helmet on. It's tails
on my rear-end, think you know what heads means... and why I require
a helmet!” Like the one in the picture
of me.
Psshaw!
A universal comment by the Major for you to get with the program!
The
writer Tom Peoples, the original Football Prediction Wizard ends each
column with :
Now
go on with my forecast. We will
also...
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